


Déjà Vu

by ashes_of_roses (KendraLuehr)



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Groundhog Day, Kissing, One Shot, in which marina's memory loss spell works a little too well, kind of scenario but i don't really want to use that term, so it's a bit like a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 23:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18082769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KendraLuehr/pseuds/ashes_of_roses
Summary: They’ve kissed before. Julia can’t remember, but it happened all the same.





	Déjà Vu

They’ve kissed before. Julia can’t remember, but it happened all the same. Sometimes, Marina can even recall the other woman’s taste – the sharp, heady breath she drew as her hands tangled through Marina’s hair, leaving her feeling disgustingly _weak._ Marina was never weak for anyone. Or at least, that was what she used to tell herself.

Weakness wasn’t what caused Marina to watch over Julia after the rape.

Weakness wasn’t what led her to overtake a closer, less conspicuous apartment to be nearer to Julia, nor what caused her to use her hedges like fucking _messenger pigeons_ to make sure Julia had everything she needed.

Weakness wasn’t what brought Marina to Julia’s place again and again and _again._

_I’m here, Jules, you’ll never be alone. I wanna help._

For so long, Marina had yearned to be told those exact words – that she would be okay, and that she didn’t _have_ to be strong. But no one ever did. It fucking _nauseated_ her that she wanted to be that person for Julia.

Holding a cup of soup between her hands – as if she could even _pretend_ she was ‘Little Miss Suzie Homemaker’ – Marina appraised the tired, bruise-like smudges beneath Julia’s eyes. She had been working too hard on her spells. Understandably, they hadn’t talked ever since the hedgewitch’s arrival, but neither seemed to mind.

“You should eat.” Okay, so maybe Marina minded just a _little._

With a tight, world-weary smile, Julia lifted her eyes and shrugged. “Why?”

“Oh, I dunno – sustenance, science, _survival?”_ Marina waved a hand, her typical snark bleeding through her concern. “If you end up dead, who else will I drag through the dirt each day?”

“Is that really the only reason you care?”

Marina hesitated, taken aback by the sudden switch in gears. Barbs and feigning apathy was kind of their thing – did Julia remember?

Cautious, she lowly suggested, “I could play you a record?”

On the first night they’d kissed, they had been listening to music (and drinking, naturally).

Julia slowly shook her head. “I’m okay, thanks.”

Setting the soup down onto the coffee table, Marina leaned back against the couch and frowned. She was living in her own personal fucking Groundhog Day. Each time they kissed, it would kickstart Julia’s memory loss as a type of fail-safe, and Marina always felt too guilty about not respecting Julia’s wishes to ever reverse it. It was truly the worst kind of hell. By now, there had been five memory retractions, five memory restorations, and five kisses. The crux of the matter was that Marina had no fucking self-control.

“Marina, how many times have we been here before?”

The brunette gaped back at her, genuinely stunned. “W-wait…you’re…?”

“The first time, there was music,” Julia softly said. “Then burgers, then karaoke – you were _awful_ – then flowers in a garden, and then late-night movies.” Glancing down at the Styrofoam cup on the coffee table, she wryly added, “And now there’s soup.”

_Holy fucking shit._

Marina swallowed, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable. After she’d left her parents behind, she’d sworn she would never feel that way again. But then along came Julia with her sad, disgustingly doe-like eyes, and her _infuriating_ personality, and that promise had shot straight to hell. She couldn’t help but feel vulnerable around Julia. After all, she was the one person who _allowed_ her to be vulnerable. She made everything okay.

“This time, you woke up on your own,” she whispered, a tinge of baffled awe entering her voice.

Julia frowned. “I don’t know how…it’s like something kept calling in the back of my mind, and I just finally decided to answer.”

“And…you’re okay?”

“I wouldn’t say _‘okay’_ is the right word, but I’m glad you’re here.” With glassy eyes, Julia reached over and touched Marina’s hand.

With her heart pounding in her chest and a lump in her throat, Marina shifted beside the other woman with a hint of desperation. “This time, you woke up on your own,” she said again. “I didn’t do anything at all. Can I…c-can I just…?”

Taking Julia by the chin, Marina closed the distance between them and drew her in for a firm, needy kiss, her fingers tangling through Julia’s hair and _yanking_ as a soft sob quivered in her throat. _Stay with me, please don't go again, **please** come back._

Julia’s hands came to her shoulders, but then she withdrew and a foggy, disoriented look came over her tired eyes.

_They’ve kissed before. Julia can’t remember, but it happened all the same._

**Author's Note:**

> WISKI 2KFOREVER. I'm sorry, but whenever Marina's girlfriend finally comes around, there's a 99% chance I'm just going to ignore her and go back to my Wiski canon. I mean, c'mon. You don't build up three seasons of sexual tension/tentative trust/tentative friendship and NOT go there. Even Marina!23 seemed taken by Julia, so if I'm supposed to believe that she was in love with someone else when she met Julia, I DO NOT BELIEVE IT. /endrant/
> 
> Anyway, I hope this wasn't too confusing! ...Or too tragic. I tried to end it on a slightly hopeful note in the sense that Julia is starting to remember on her own, so that one day, she finally WILL beat the memory loss spell. I basically did an AU on Marina's memory loss spell in S1, and while Marina was taking care of Julia/ensuring she was alright, she slowly started to fall in love with her. And then she'd occasionally bring Julia's memory back (aka five times) since they'd kissed before the memory loss spell, and then she'd feel guilty for ignoring her promise, and would promptly bring back the memory loss by kissing her. I know that seems confusing since if they kissed, Julia would probably wake up and go "Y WE KISS?", but I tried to do a loophole by having it only work AFTER she's withdrawn. I dunno, I tried. haha


End file.
